The Litmus Test of Trials

Its been a few weeks since I arrived in Boise and a few weeks since I last wrote. Partly I haven't written because there hasn't been any big break through stories to announce and partly it might be that life has just been hard the past few weeks...

Its funny how we all tend to only share the good, we only want to share major events of conversion or how the Lord is blessing us abundantly, but that is never the full picture of what is really going on in our lives. However, I believe, when we withhold the harder time experiences, the discouragement, when we chose to not disclose the whole picture and only share the good "sunny day" stories we rob others of a form of encouragement that can only come through the knowledge that others struggle too. That life IS life sometimes and its hard sometimes.

I titled this "The Litmus Test Of Trials" because the truth is, like a litmus paper shows what the true chemicals are trials show the true nature of our beliefs, our hearts. James says, "consider it pure joy, brothers, when you face trials of many kinds knowing that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be made complete lacking nothing." While in Austin I learned so many amazing truths about God's calling on my life. I learned that God is faithful to keep those He's called and that He is the one who will bring about their salvation. I was strengthened by these and other truths and I felt that I could conquer the world with the strength that these truths provided. How are you to ever know just how much you believe something tho if it is never tested?

It seems lately, that all the progress I've reported the past couple blogs with my mom, has been fading as she is getting back into normal life. I am having a hard time knowing just how to love them the right way, how to really be a missionary to them, how to really share the gospel with her and dad. Mom is just being sucked into normal everyday life and dad seems so distant and closed off. It seems so much more like how things ALWAYS go here, and thats hard. I was hoping that this time might be different and it was seeming at first that they would be. Then again, its only three weeks in, and so, maybe God is still working, I just cant see it right now. What I do know is that He DID call me here and so I must press on. While I was back in Austin I got a few different opportunities for jobs that would have allowed me to stay there and make enough money to live but every time those opportunities came up God would speak to me, that His will was still for me to go to Boise so I turned them down and was resolute in coming here. Its just hard to feel like your so far away from accomplishing what you felt you came to do.

On the horizon there is a possible possibility to go serve in the Czech Republic for a month. I have some friends there who are with OM and they need help making a training video so I talked to the mission pastor at my church here and he seems really excited and supportive of the idea. I just need to talk more to my friends there about the timing of it all, and costs and all that. I've wanted to return to CZ for 4 years now and so this would be an incredible opportunity to go serve them and reconnect with my old friends there. We will see if the doors continue to open or shut. Mom is not very excited about the possibility and thinks that for me to go away for a month is not "settling down" as I had said I would. So I am having a hard time figuring out how to respect her ideas but also go in the direction God is leading. Its even harder I think when perhaps her definition of love is "respecting and doing what she asks or wishes for me"

Through all that has been going on, not feeling connections w/my parents, financial issues caused by my immatruity and disobedience in that area, finding out a friend of mine has cancer, and trying to swollow the fact that I'm going to be here in Boise a while, I am still secure in the truth that God has called me and, as the girls, keep telling me, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.( 1 Cor 10:13)" I know that He has promised to never leave or forsake me. I know that we are not promised continually sunny days of prosperity and blessing. Paul said that he was " hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor. 4: 8-9)" And the litmus test of all these trials is proving that all I learned in Austin did truly build a solid foundation and that I am New and Alive in Him.

So, that's a bit of an update here. I'm just trying to survive and I am finding hope in the truth that He will continue the good work He began in me and that He is a refuge in the middle of the storm.

Emily

Back in Boise

I arrived back in Boise yesterday afternoon. Mom and I had a really good time on the road. We had some good conversations and saw some truly amazing sights! I will try and post some pictures soon from that trip.

So here I am, now the work begins, now I am in the field. Its interesting, I think after seeing all the different sights I did on my trip I am able to see Boise with somewhat new eyes...able to see its beauty in a new way.

Today, its beginning to sink in a bit just how far away I am from TX. We drove 2,300 miles! But its good....I mean that I believe the feelings I am feeling are the feelings of many missionaries. You unpack and realize...wow, I'm here, this call that I heard a while back is finally coming to life, and it begins to hit you just how far away you are...but you know why you are there. You know that you find yourself in a "foreign land" because God has called you there. And I've realized this...tho I seem so far away, I am really not. We, as the Body of Christ, are closer than we realize. AND even if we are on the mission field for decades, far away from our "home" there will come a day when all this "distance" will fade away. When we will all gather as One, as the Body and BRIDE of Christ in the New City on the New Earth! And with that perspective I can more easily concentrate on the "task at hand" and can go to the field ready to pour myself out, knowing that the Lord of the Harvest has sent me to be a worker in the field.

I am still looking into how to start "planting churches" I talked w/my friend Kristin last night. She is currently involved in a Bible study that ends in 3 weeks so I'm thinking in 3 weeks we can get that going.

I hope ya'll are doin well. Until next time,

Em