Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Wow guys, its been FAR too long since I posted anything on here. I will try and do a quick recap and then include a bit of what I'm currently thinking theses days.

So I ended up buying my friend Caleen's car right before she moved to Korea. I was able to use the money I got from my car being totaled. I then began to look for a place to live in Portland. I was able to stay with my friend Linsey for the first month that I was here and then after that my friends Matt and Courtney invited me to live with them for September and October (which is quickly coming to a close). Initially I transferred both jobs (GAP and Starbucks) but I didn't get along well with my manager at GAP and Starbucks was giving me enough hours so now I'm just back to being a barista.

I'm finally beginning to feel settled back into Portland life. I am enjoying the friendships I have here and I have found a really good church. Evergreen Community  (I hope the link works for you who want to check it out). The weather here in the North West has definitely cooled off. Many days in the past few weeks the high has not even gotten into the 60's. We've not hit "the rainy season" yet which I'm thankful for. Today as I write this, outside its sunny and brisk. Something about the change of the season, about the cooler weather has helped me process this past year a bit more. What an adventure it's been. In-fact, I think I could say one theme (and the new one of my blog) the past eight years has been adventure. At this point tho, I am feeling the call to settle down a bit. To put down roots and just be. And this is not easy for me. I've moved 21 times in the past 8 years. And there are still so many adventures I hope to have...so the nagging voice of settling is hard. I guess we'll see. I mean, I do think that eventually, and more-than-likely sooner than later I will need to put some roots down. To learn to really live in community. I guess the fear for me has always been (and in ways still is) that in doing that...in staying in the same place (Portland/Boise) I will miss the other adventures. So I guess these are still just thoughts, just processing...no final conclusions yet.

Perhaps part of why I'm still not sure I want to completely settle down in Portland is my heart still beats for the Czech Republic. I still very much want to see if I could belong over there more permanently or if its really just a place that I need to pray for and perhaps visit occasionally but that I need to stay planted in the states. I don't hear a clear call yet either way. I just know that my Prague, and CZ have a very strong hold on my heart still. My friend and I went to a movie a few weeks ago and there was this shot of The Charles Bridge at sunrise and my heart began to beat and I nearly lost my breath...its what I imagine being in-love with somebody must feel like. I can't believe that after four years a few seconds worth of film of the Charles Bridge can affect me that way. So on October 28th Josiah Venture, who I've been to CZ with the three times I've been is having a meeting here in Portland to discuss what God's doing in CZ and in the other countries that JV is in. I am really excited for this evening. I am praying that I can leave with a little more direction. Will you join me in praying for this?

Well there's a bit of an update.  I will try and write more soon and to begin to write more consistently. I hope that this fall finds you well and that you too can take some time to reflect on the changes that have taken place in your life this past year and to see, in all the changes that God remains unchanging. That He alone stays the same.

Life changes in an instant

Its been a month again since I wrote last, and what a month its been. I am struck by how much life can change in a matter of seconds...

June 3rd I was looking forward to my friend Jackie coming to visit me from Portland. She and I were set to drive back to Portland on the 5th. Well I took the morning and did a couple errands and then went to the gym. On my way home from the gym I was in a car accident. I was completely ok. Since I had just left the gym my muscles were totally loose and warm and ready for impact. I was driving straight and I saw this pick up truck comin right at me, so I sped up enough to not be hit right on, but it still hit the rear quarter on the drivers side and my car spun around. I got out and found out the person who hit me was my next door neighbor! Crazy! Well, Jackie got into town shortly after this so I had to have a friend of mine here pick her up at the airport. She and I ended up renting a car to drive back to Portland. The main reason that she and I had planned this trip was to go to our school's film festival. I had worked in the equipment cage at school so was well acquainted with all the students that were a year behind me. It was so good to see all of them again and to also see my professors again. I was able to catch up with some friends and had a wonderful time there.

Since the accident was not my fault, the guy's insurance paid for everything. My car was totaled so they paid off the rest of my loan ($3000) and then gave me the remainder ($1300). When I decided to come back to Boise I came for two reasons. One, to be a light to my family, to reestablish my relationship with my parents and two, to live in a cheap place where I could pay off my car. I decided that as soon as my car was paid off I'd be off to the next place. I figured that would be til next August or September, but my car is paid of NOW! And, I have come to a good place again with my parents, so I'm in the process of figuring out the next steps. Its looking more and more like I will be headed back to Portland in the next couple months. I have established a life there over the past eight years and have built some amazing relationships. I have invested in high school students who still have a year or two left in school. I have such a passion to return there and begin where I left off...So I will keep ya'll updated on the plans as they come together. I am in the process of looking for a cheap, reliable car (close to the $1300 I got back from the insurance cuz I don't want to get into another car loan) and I will also be in the process of looking for a place to live out there.

I hope you each find yourself well and encouraged in the Lord's faithfulness and unfailing love!
Em

Reflections on the vastness of Christ's Body

Last Sunday my pastor here in Boise was teaching on Romans 16. They have been going through Romans for some time now and are nearly done. I can't tell you how many times I've skimmed over the list of names in Romans 16 like I tend to do with most lists I read in the Bible. Ahh yes, that lady, this guy, those people, cool cool Paul, who cares? What a sad perspective that is to have. But this Sunday it was different. As I listened to the list of people, and to what Jackson had to say about it I began to get this glimpse of the beauty, diversity and greatness of the Body of Christ and began to see my journey, my experience, in a bit of a different light.

I began to think, what would my list look like? If I were to write a letter like Paul's to the Romans, who would it be to? Who would I tell that group of people to greet? And I began to realize what an amazing thing it is that I've been able to live so many places, have been able to meet so many people. I have been really finding a deeper connection to Paul as I've been here in Idaho. In his ministering of the gospel he met people from all over and often would be far from them for a long time. He had actually never even been to Rome at the time of the letter but had met all these people from Rome while he traveled. I began to think of all the people I know all over the world, who are going on missions to places I may never visit. I have been blessed with the ability to meet people from the Body of Christ in Portland, Boise, Texas (Austin,Huntsville, Huston), Czech Republic (all over the country of CZ), Indiana, Illinois, Seattle Washington, Alaska, California, Colorado, Ireland and I'm sure many others. I have friends who are missionaries in Czech, Africa (all over) Asia (all over), Slovenia, Ukraine, Lithuania, Germany, and lots of people who are going on short term teams all over the world. And as I reflect on this, I realize how huge the Body of Christ is and how amazing it is that through just a person or two difference in connections I know more of the Body than I could probably ever count! And it increases my passion to see more people join the family and for that glorious day when we will ALL gather as One...

The Litmus Test of Trials

Its been a few weeks since I arrived in Boise and a few weeks since I last wrote. Partly I haven't written because there hasn't been any big break through stories to announce and partly it might be that life has just been hard the past few weeks...

Its funny how we all tend to only share the good, we only want to share major events of conversion or how the Lord is blessing us abundantly, but that is never the full picture of what is really going on in our lives. However, I believe, when we withhold the harder time experiences, the discouragement, when we chose to not disclose the whole picture and only share the good "sunny day" stories we rob others of a form of encouragement that can only come through the knowledge that others struggle too. That life IS life sometimes and its hard sometimes.

I titled this "The Litmus Test Of Trials" because the truth is, like a litmus paper shows what the true chemicals are trials show the true nature of our beliefs, our hearts. James says, "consider it pure joy, brothers, when you face trials of many kinds knowing that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be made complete lacking nothing." While in Austin I learned so many amazing truths about God's calling on my life. I learned that God is faithful to keep those He's called and that He is the one who will bring about their salvation. I was strengthened by these and other truths and I felt that I could conquer the world with the strength that these truths provided. How are you to ever know just how much you believe something tho if it is never tested?

It seems lately, that all the progress I've reported the past couple blogs with my mom, has been fading as she is getting back into normal life. I am having a hard time knowing just how to love them the right way, how to really be a missionary to them, how to really share the gospel with her and dad. Mom is just being sucked into normal everyday life and dad seems so distant and closed off. It seems so much more like how things ALWAYS go here, and thats hard. I was hoping that this time might be different and it was seeming at first that they would be. Then again, its only three weeks in, and so, maybe God is still working, I just cant see it right now. What I do know is that He DID call me here and so I must press on. While I was back in Austin I got a few different opportunities for jobs that would have allowed me to stay there and make enough money to live but every time those opportunities came up God would speak to me, that His will was still for me to go to Boise so I turned them down and was resolute in coming here. Its just hard to feel like your so far away from accomplishing what you felt you came to do.

On the horizon there is a possible possibility to go serve in the Czech Republic for a month. I have some friends there who are with OM and they need help making a training video so I talked to the mission pastor at my church here and he seems really excited and supportive of the idea. I just need to talk more to my friends there about the timing of it all, and costs and all that. I've wanted to return to CZ for 4 years now and so this would be an incredible opportunity to go serve them and reconnect with my old friends there. We will see if the doors continue to open or shut. Mom is not very excited about the possibility and thinks that for me to go away for a month is not "settling down" as I had said I would. So I am having a hard time figuring out how to respect her ideas but also go in the direction God is leading. Its even harder I think when perhaps her definition of love is "respecting and doing what she asks or wishes for me"

Through all that has been going on, not feeling connections w/my parents, financial issues caused by my immatruity and disobedience in that area, finding out a friend of mine has cancer, and trying to swollow the fact that I'm going to be here in Boise a while, I am still secure in the truth that God has called me and, as the girls, keep telling me, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.( 1 Cor 10:13)" I know that He has promised to never leave or forsake me. I know that we are not promised continually sunny days of prosperity and blessing. Paul said that he was " hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor. 4: 8-9)" And the litmus test of all these trials is proving that all I learned in Austin did truly build a solid foundation and that I am New and Alive in Him.

So, that's a bit of an update here. I'm just trying to survive and I am finding hope in the truth that He will continue the good work He began in me and that He is a refuge in the middle of the storm.

Emily

Back in Boise

I arrived back in Boise yesterday afternoon. Mom and I had a really good time on the road. We had some good conversations and saw some truly amazing sights! I will try and post some pictures soon from that trip.

So here I am, now the work begins, now I am in the field. Its interesting, I think after seeing all the different sights I did on my trip I am able to see Boise with somewhat new eyes...able to see its beauty in a new way.

Today, its beginning to sink in a bit just how far away I am from TX. We drove 2,300 miles! But its good....I mean that I believe the feelings I am feeling are the feelings of many missionaries. You unpack and realize...wow, I'm here, this call that I heard a while back is finally coming to life, and it begins to hit you just how far away you are...but you know why you are there. You know that you find yourself in a "foreign land" because God has called you there. And I've realized this...tho I seem so far away, I am really not. We, as the Body of Christ, are closer than we realize. AND even if we are on the mission field for decades, far away from our "home" there will come a day when all this "distance" will fade away. When we will all gather as One, as the Body and BRIDE of Christ in the New City on the New Earth! And with that perspective I can more easily concentrate on the "task at hand" and can go to the field ready to pour myself out, knowing that the Lord of the Harvest has sent me to be a worker in the field.

I am still looking into how to start "planting churches" I talked w/my friend Kristin last night. She is currently involved in a Bible study that ends in 3 weeks so I'm thinking in 3 weeks we can get that going.

I hope ya'll are doin well. Until next time,

Em

Forgiveness

Today, I sat down on the couch next to my mom and said "There's something I need you to know, and that is that I forgive you, you may have already guessed that by the way I've acted but I need you to hear those words, see, that (last year when she told me things about her and my dad's relationship that I had not known before then) was by far the hardest thing that has happened to me so far in my life and because of it I stopped going to church" she said "you lost faith?" I said "yes, I stopped going to church and really felt that I couldn't trust God because tho He didn't cause all those things to happen, He didn't cause the people I'm supposed to be able to trust more than any others to lie to me my whole life, but He allowed it and so I decided I couldn't trust Him anymore. So whether you know it or not, I came here to run away. But God has made all those things new. He has used those things to the good and He has rebuilt my foundation" Then she asked me why is it that God allows bad things to happen if He is good and I went into the truth that true Love must happen in freedom, talked to her about Adam and Eve...it was AMAZING A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. We talked about hell and why people go there, we talked about the difference between Jesus and God...WOW...all these hard topics, that I've been built up in as I've heard the preaching at Austin Stone. It was so incredible! And we have 9 more days together on the road...

I feel like forgiveness is so key, and really, when we begin to understand the depths of God's forgiveness toward us, when we begin to see the bigger picture of how He truly DOES work ALL THINGS to the good of those who ARE CALLED according to His purpose...man...its so powerful guys!

I can't believe I was already to talk to my mom about so much today and share so much truth with her already! I really can't wait for the rest of this trip! God is so amazing guys! I feel like that statement is not enough to really describe my heart toward Him but those are the only words I can think of for now.

I don't know how often I will be able to check back here over the next nine days but I will write you more when I get back to Boise unless I get the chance to write while on the road.

In awe,
Em

Joy in Obedience-My journey begins

I was standing with the rest of the congregation singing songs of praise, and as I sang I looked up at the worship leader Andy, and then at the people around me and I saw how they all, like me, were filled with so much awe and wonder and hope and joy in God and His Mighty Love for them and God really began to speak to me “If you stay here in Austin, it will be good for you, you will be able to continue to enjoy the blessings of this amazing church and the close friendships w/the ladies in your community group, and the connections you are making to the film world here, yes, it will be really good for you, but it will do nothing for your family who still doesn’t know this awe and wonder and hope and joy in My Love. What’s it going to be? Who’s Kingdom do you want to build? Yours and stay here or Mine and follow me back to Boise to share the Love that I’ve shown you with your family. And so with tears rushing down my face I said “Your’s Lord, I will follow You anywhere and I will lay all these blessings that You have given me here down and trust You.”

That was almost two months ago. Now it is less than a week til I actually leave Austin and follow the Lord back to Boise. Yes, in some people’s eyes it may appear foolish for me to be giving up all these opportunities here and go somewhere where I may not have the same opportunities and connections to the film world. It may seem to some as foolishness to be walking away from such an amazing life here. And it would be foolishness if I was building my Kingdom. If I was truly seeking after “The American Dream” then yes, to leave all that I have here behind and go home to Boise, Idaho would be absolutely stupid. But I am NOT chasing The American Dream…The Dream I am chasing is much larger than that, it’s the Dream and Reality of a new heaven and a new earth. The day is coming closer and closer as each day passes by and that day, that Dream is worth everything I have. I long for the day when I will be able to see Jesus face to face, to be forever in the Presence of Him who loves me beyond anything I will ever, as long as Eternity lasts, fully grasp.

This season in Austin has been the most amazing season of my life! Last year at this time of the year I was barely hanging on, I was trying to put one foot in front of the other, cuz my foundation had been destroyed, my world had been nearly shattered and my faith had been greatly damaged. But God is FAITHFUL and God is GOOD. His love is relentless and He has passionately loved me since before the foundations of the world. And He, in His faithfulness and goodness let my foundation be destroyed so that He could rebuild my foundation on the Mighty Rock of His Love.

So come Friday, I will be headed out of Austin, with my mom on a nine day drive back to Idaho. I go trusting God to be the God that makes ALL THINGS possible! Trusting that I was at one time darkness but I an NOW light! I will be a light to my family and I am praying that they will see my good works and glorify my Father in Heaven (Matthew 5:15-16)

Check back to hear the stories as they unfold, to all of my friends and Family in Austin, THANK YOU! I love you dearly and will be forever grateful for the ways God has used you to help build me up and prepare me for this journey. For my other friends who are checking in as well, thank you too, for your part in my life, for sharing your life with me!

To Him, be the Glory and Praise Today and forever,
Em